Middle School Parent Corner

Safety in cyberspace: Taking an active role in your middle schooler's "online" life

As if helping navigate your children through the daily ups and downs of the middle school years wasn’t confusing enough, now you have to grapple with how to help your pre-teens safely through a whole new realm – the virtual world of the Internet.

The Internet has been a true innovation for kids – here they can socialize via instant messaging, post their own web pages, access information and talk with people from all walks of life. But it has also opened up a world of potential threats. Keeping your children safe from those things you know they are not emotionally or intellectually ready to handle can be a challenge, especially at an age when they naturally want more freedom to explore new ideas and relationships.

Here are some of the online hazards children may come upon, along with suggestions that families can use to help ensure that their children are safely and responsibly exploring the Internet:

Meeting someone harmful online
Unbeknownst to your children, the 12-year-old Star Wars fan they meet in a chat room may actually be a 42-year-old sexual predator. To prevent them from unintentionally becoming involved with someone harmful:

• Talk with them about the fact that the people they meet online may not really be who they say they are and may want to do them harm.

• Take an interest in the friends your children meet online, just as you would the friends they meet at school.

• Prohibit or monitor your children’s use of chat functions. Preview the chat rooms they use, and make sure their screen names do not identify them as children.

• If your child has a web page, know what’s on it. Make sure it does not include their photos, contact information or other private family details.

• Instruct your children NEVER to meet face-to-face with online acquaintances. Let them know this is the single greatest danger the Internet presents to their safety and welfare.

• Install blocking software or a filter to limit the sites your children can visit or restrict them from giving out their names, addresses and phone numbers or those of your family and friends.

•  If you suspect online "stalking" or sexual exploitation, report it to the police. You can also visit the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s website: www.missingkids.com.

Inappropriate material
Every family has its own definition of what is inappropriate. On the Internet, this may include sites that are sexual in nature, contain violent or hateful material, or advocate the use of weapons or harmful substances. To protect your child:

• Set rules about where your kids can go online and what to do if they happen upon inappropriate sites. http://www.safekids.com includes suggestions for creating a family Internet policy and printable contracts.

• Keep computer(s) in a public area of the house. When your children are online, walk into the room periodically and check on the sites they visit.

• Set up Internet accounts in your name and be the guardian of the password.

• Limit when your children can use the Internet. http://www.getnetwise.com/tools/index.php3?definition=timelimits includes information on time limiting software that prevents kids from going online when you are not around.

• Be aware of other computers your children may be using (i.e., in friends’ homes) and make sure they are being supervised.

Sorting fact from fiction
With so many sites to visit, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by information. To limit the range of sites your children have to choose from and to help them develop a "critical eye:"

• Require your children to use only kid-friendly search engines, such as Yahooligans www.yahooligans.comand Ask Jeeves Kids www.ajkids.com.

• Encourage them to question information they find online. By visiting sites with them, you can help them make sense of the material they find and teach them to tell the difference between facts, opinions, rumors and lies.

For permission to reprint this article, please contact the Capital Region BOCES Communications Service by e-mailing us at dbushsuf@gw.neric.org.

(back)